THE SCRAPBOOK (Analysis of the Human Condition and Regret)

Written by: Emily Robinson


Memories… Isn’t that what scrap booking is about? I cannot be dishonest with the pages anymore. So many beautiful, memorable times caught in those photographs; then cropped to fit into my gold leafed photo album.

My marriage to Bill… My child’s first steps… The church picnic I went to with so many wonderful friends three summers ago…pictures from when my daughter when to her high school prom, and then a few pages later her college graduation, and then her wedding…
Yes it was a memorable wedding. And so was mine.

If only the moths hadn’t destroyed my wedding dress while it was in storage. I would have still had it to cherish. I would admire its intricate beadwork and lace. I would sniff it and probably still smell the perfume that I wore. And maybe, if I managed to lose the weight, I would be able to wear if for our wedding anniversary. Yes… that would have been something. I look back and regrets fill my mind. If only I had thought to put mothballs in with the dress; when I first stored it. I wish so badly that I could have saved it. It hardly seems logical, but for some reason, I keep thinking that if I had been able to save the dress, I could have saved my marriage.

My Marriage: Twenty eight years and then everything’s gone. The love, the hope, and the future Bill and I had together have dissipated. The divorce went fairly smoothly. There were loads of paper to sign; little talking. But without my husband’s income, and then having to live on my own, it has been hard to make ends meet. It was not long before I had to sell my wedding ring at a pawn shop…then I had the means to pay the bills for April and May… But since then… it has been more difficult than ever.

I look at my scrapbook sitting on the shelf and I start to cry. This is supposed to be a hobby that middle aged women do. An opportunity to show off your handiwork to all of your lady friends while having them over for coffee… But for me, the scrapbook has become a curse. Its pages will never fade with the acid free paper, the acid free glue, and the premium glossy finish acid free photographs. I feel like getting rid of the object, but burning it doesn’t seem right. Those are my memories in that book, and it is my life. If I dispose of the book it would be like I am disposing all of what my life is made up of. The important events…the cherished ones…

If I did not cherish those times so much I would not be in so much pain now. I guess the real pain is wanting to have what I used to have returned to me. But wait... how could I possibly want that? It was all phony anyway.

Oh my goodness...

There's no revolution in Belgium. Really
By RAF CASERT, Associated Press Writer Thu Dec 14, 6:55 PM ET

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Suddenly and shockingly, Belgium came to an end. State television broke into regular programming late Wednesday with an urgent bulletin: The Dutch-speaking half of the country had declared independence and the king and queen had fled. Grainy pictures from the military airport showed dark silhouettes of a royal entourage boarding a plane.


Only after a half hour did the station flash the message: "This is fiction."



It was too late. Many Belgians had already fallen for the hoax.



Frantic viewers flooded the call center of the RTBF broadcaster that aired the stunt. Embassies called Belgian authorities to find out what was going on, while foreign journalists scrambled to get confirmation.



"Ambassadors who were worried asked what they had to tell their capitals," said Senate Chair Anne-Marie Lizin. "This fiction was seen as a reality and it created a catastrophic image of the country."



RTBF defended the program, saying it showed the importance of debate on the future of Belgium. But the network won few friends.



Even the Jean-Claude Juncker, the prime minister from neighboring Luxembourg, was angry and let it be know at the opening of the European Union summit. "This is not the kind of issue you play around with," he said.



The RTBF's phony newscast reported that the "Flemish parliament has unilaterally declared the independence of Flanders" and that King Albert and Queen Paola had left on the first air force plane available.



The broadcast showed jubilant demonstrators waving the yellow-and-black flag with the Flemish Lion outside the legislature. A small crowd of monarchists rallied outside the royal palace waving the Belgian flag.



Reporting that the royal family fled did not go down well at the palace, which said in a statement the hoax was in "bad taste."



"It is totally unacceptable," said Vice Premier Didier Reynders.



The linguistic demons pitting Dutch-speaking Flanders in the north against French-speaking Wallonia in the south have been mostly quiet for the past two decades, ever since far-reaching autonomy was granted in the 1980s.



Yet the economic disparity between wealthy Flanders and struggling Wallonia has recently intensified the political debate. The North is demanding more autonomy while the South clings to a unity that better spreads the economic spoils. The royal family is often portrayed as the glue that holds the nation together.



Independence is not an aim of any of the major parties in power, whatever their linguistic preference. It explains why the program was so widely condemned on Thursday.
"It is abhorrent. It defies belief. It is a caricature of Flanders," said Yves Leterme, the Minister-President of the Flemish region.



His counterpart from Wallonia, Elio di Rupo, was just as negative. "Never in my long political life have I seen such worry. Anguish came from around the world," he said.



About the only people who enjoyed the program were the separatist far-right Flemish Interest party. It wants to get rid of the king and thought it could see a flash of its future in an independent Flanders.



"I want to congratulate the RTBF for this daring show," said Flemish Interest leader Filip Dewinter.

Talk about...dumb?

Man calls 911 to report stolen drugs

Associated Press
Tue Dec 12, 4:21 PM ET

WICHITA, Kan. - A Wichita man called 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100 that he had been trying to sell at his home.
The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.

Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The victim was booked into Sedgwick County jail on several charges, including possession with the intent to sell drug.

The thief has not been found.

Ichthus Christmas Party 2006

Last Friday night Ichthus had it's annual Christmas party. Here are some of the enjoyable moments that we had:

Ben, Marriane, Katie, Santiago...

There's me opening my present. I was dressed up from a concert earlier in the evening.

Here is me with my present, an adorable poster from Amanda.

Sean Allen and Matt Gibson, two awesome Gentleman friends...

There's Kerri and Hanna, but sadly I don't know the girl in the middle!

A Christian Rap Band showed up called; " Broken Brotherhood". And they were pretty good! Here, I will advertise for them. You can check out their music at www.myspace.com/brokenbrotherhood
(They have free music downloads!)

I love this picture of everyone dancing. I think I was the only person not dancing. I had high heeled shoes on. My feet were killing me!

Here is a great picture of Sean Allen.

There's dainty elegant Me in the midst of a loud rap concert! (I can tell you... it was NOTHING like the concert I gave earlier in the evening!)

There is Grant crowd surfing! Grant is one of my best guy friends. Due to his unique nature, I did not expect Grant to be crowd surfing! It came as a complete shock to me. I mean, come on. Can anyone picture me being a big WWF ( World Wide Wrestling Federation) fan???

There's Jana and Kate... I love them!

Here is Molly and her brother. Aren't they adorable together?

The girls from Jayhawker Towers performed a special dance for us It was sweet.

What the Guys at work did to my Wish List

This year, I am participating in the Secret Santa Gift Exchange at work. I know who I am buying for, but I have no idea who is buying for me. Two nights ago I was at work on break, and there was such horrible weather outside that many of the local hangouts I usually go to were closing. In my boredom, I decided to write a silly wish list and tape it on the glass wall at work. That way my Secret Santa would know what I really want.

Here is what I made:


This morning, I come back to work, and this is what I find:

Yes, look at what the guys at work did to wish list! They are hilarious and I love them for it. What is so funny about all of this is that most of the items they wrote down I wanted in the past.

Ps... I added the Shaving Fun Ken. ( And yes, I have been wanting that for years...)

Friendly Green Visitor

Today a Praying Mantis showed up on our front porch. Me being very sentimental about this particular green creature, I was delighted.

Nate posing with our tiny visitor.

Look how intricate and carefully he's been designed.

Self-Erasing Paper? What is this world coming to?

Xerox Invents Self-Erasing, Re-Usable Paper

By Sharon Gaudin

Check out this article which shares the latest about this new technology.

Wishing you a great Thanksgiving.

"I hope your turkey comes out better that mine." - Pilgrim lady.

I like the lighting in this picture

An Awesome Morning

I dislike getting up early in the morning. My pillow is just too comfortable. Just please let me spend a few more minutes under the blankets. But yesterday morning I was reminded of how beautiful the sunrise can be, and now I feel like a new dawn is coming for me, yes I want to be the Emily who gets up early in the morning and gets things accomplished throughout the day.

Because yesterday was an amazing day.

Yesterday morning, my alarm went off at six, and I dragged myself out of bed. I had told Jana I would meet for for breakfast at seven so I had to be ready. Normally I would not be inclined to get up so early, but the idea spending time with Jana made be delighted to be brushing my teeth, putting on my shoes, and walking out the door. Jana and I left together for IHOP (International House of Pancakes) at seven. On the way there we watched the sunrise and it was so beautiful. Then we went inside the restaurant and fumbled through our menu's. Meanwhile our waitress came and asked what we would like to drink. " Two hot tea's" we said. How could it get any better? It was seven-something in the morning, there was a gorgious sunrise, I was with my good friend Jana, and soon we would be having tea together. The breakfast was wonderful, I ate way too much. Jana and I parted ways at 8:30, because she had class. But it was an awesome morning.

Battle of the Scones

Saturday morning at the boy's house, Tyler and I had a competition making scones. We each made our own recipe... and then it was up to the guests to decide who was the best cook! I made Cranberry Scones, he made Blueberry Scones with an orange glaze sauce. It was when Tyler pointed to a bowl of fruit and said something like; " Glaze with fresh-squeezed orange juice," that I knew I was outdone.

Who won the baking competition? I will probably never find out. Our guests were far too nice to say who's scones were better. Yet it was a fun time.

Not a Planet Anymore?

Pluto is no longer considered a Planet?

Music Worth Listening To

Introducing the website of one of my favorite musicians, Santiago Ferreira. Not only is he a wonderful musician, but also a great friend of mine. I hope you will visit the website and be blessed by his music.

www.santifermusic.com

Independance Day Celebrations

What did you do on the fourth of July? You were probably in the company of family and friends and you likely saw fireworks.

Last Tuesday I had a wonderful time celebrating. Walt gave me a ride to Curtis' house (along with Kyle and Kirby) and we enjoyed a cookout with friends. Curtis' hospitality was wonderful.

Kelci and Mandy

@ Curtis' House

After a few hours at Curtis', several of us headed back into town to watch the city fireworks by the river. I rode alone in the car with Walt, and if any of you know Walt, you know he loves giving people heart attacks. Or, rather... surprises, and surprised is just what I felt when he took a different road, drove us into the middle of a country intersection, and stopped the car.

"What is he thinking???" I wondered quietly.

There was one moment of very awkward silence, and then he said something to the effect of: "Are you just gonna sit there or are we going to shoot off some fireworks?!?"

And so we both hopped out of the car and for several minutes, right before sunset, shot fireworks.

At one point Walt set a slightly larger firework on the ground and then told me that it was for me to light. Worried that he might be tricking me into another "heart attack", I told him I would not light it. I didn't recognize this particular firework, and was worried that when I lit it it might blow up really quickly with huge sounds, and then I would scream my lungs out and he would be laughing. After accepting my refusal to light the firework, he shrugged and lit it himself. Several feet into the air popped a tiny figure with a parachute. There was nothing alarming about it, in fact it was a rather neat little show. I felt embarrased... very sheepish. Walt wasn't trying to give me a heart attack at all. (at least at that time...)

We got back into the car and went on our way. A few minutes behind the others, perhaps, but it was well worth it. As we were leaving I was amazed at God's beautiful sunset. It was far more brilliant and colorful than anything man can put in the sky. I took a photograph.

God's Beautiful Sunset

Later in the evening we were in town and enjoying those city fireworks. Altogether it was Ellen, Walt, Kyle, Kirby, JoAnna, Grant, Steven, Susie, Kelci, Mandy, and I.

Bang, bang, bang!

After the fireworks show I walked with most of the others to Ellen's house and we stood outside and visited for a while. Then Santiago, Barry, and Molly showed up. It was wonderful to spend time with these friends and it was a splendid evening.

Lucy and L.A.

Here are some photos of my beautiful Niece Lucy. She is a big part of why I want to go to Los Angeles later this summer. Hopefully it will work out that I can go!

Lucy and her Daddy; Tim

They look so happy together.

What a Sugar Pie!

Zzzzz... ( Perhaps dreaming of when her Aunt Emily comes to visit.)

Froggie Prince Charlie

Froggie Prince Charlie

Recently I entered a picture in a contest featured at http://www.worth1000.com/; titled: " Animal Renaissance 7". In the competition we were supposed to take classical works of art and somehow incorperate animals into the images, in a clever and thoughtful way.

In my entry (shown above) I took an image of Bonnie Prince Charlie and turned him into a frog. My idea was to create a Frog Prince!

Let me know what you think.

Ichthus Formal

Here are some of my photos from the Ichthus Formal we had in May. If you were not there than you really missed out. Tyler made homemade lasagna and we had karioke, dancing, etc. It was amazing.

Ooo... Candlelight!

All of Us

Singing Fellows

Kyle came from MN!!!

Sara and I

Silliness...

Jon and I

Nick trying to be like Fred Astairre

Drunken Attentions

Questions fill my mind. What if I had not been born into a Christian family? Where would I be today if I had never been born again? I shudder to imagine the things I am glad never happened. But what if they did? What would I have become by now, at twenty years old?

The other night I was at work, filming in a bar. After working a couple of hours setting up equipment, I found myself thirsty. I looked up at the bartender, a young man with shaggy hair and a baseball cap. I looked at all of the shelves behind him. Lined with beer bottles. Not anywhere did I see a water bottle or anything else that didn't have alchohol in it. I asked one of the guys I was working with, Frank, if he knew if the establishment sold non-alcoholic beverages.

"Just coke," He told me.

I waited until the bartender's table was cleared of drunk men, and then went forward to order a pepsi. But just as I had rested my elbows on the table, and started to order, a very drunk young man lunged in beside me, attempting to flirt with me. Honestly, I felt like I was in an episode of one of those old westerns, you know... where the cowboy is in the saloon harassing Miss Kitty. Fortunately the young bartender was quick in serving my drink and I was able to get away quickly without eye contact. I am thankful to God for that, I was quietly praying the whole time.
But now I think... what would I have done in that situation... if I was not a Christian? Would I have accepted that drunken man's attentions? I sure hope not! But what if???

The following day I was walking a busy downdown street where construction workers were busy doing something to the street. As I walked past the construction area, one of the construction men, bald with a potbelly, was leaning on the fence in between us and trying to get my attention. He was obviously up to no good. " A penny for your thoughts?" He aggressively asked me with a smile. " Come on, I wanna know what you're thinking! What are you thinking about? Come on Honey!"

"Nothing." I told him and kept walking. I had told him that I was thinking about nothing. But was that really true? Of course not. The words I was thinking about I failed to say... partly because I am a Christian and I do not think it is appropriate to use bad language. But oh! The words I was thinking of! I wanted to call him a "Jerk." But I wasn't daring enough. I just kept walking. What would Jesus have done in my place? Even He has called people names before; like "Brood of Vipers" and "White Washed Tombs". I do not think that Jesus would have minded if I had called this man a jerk. No I think He might have preferred it if I did.

And now I am comparing the two incidents: the one at the bar with the good looking young drunk man, and the one downtown with the older guy who had a potbelly. These two run-ins had happened to me less than twenty four hours apart. Their exteriors were so different, but the attitudes and intentions of these two men were the same.

There are so many girls out their desperate for male attention of any and every kind. Even it means being used, mistreated and given temporary, fake love. I am thankful that I am not one of them. Yet I pray for those who are. What would life be if all women would pursue virtue? Seek Christ? Be willing to wait for true love? That is how God wants it to be. How beautiful that would be!

Lift Ev-ry Voice and Sing

I ran into these lyrics online today and find them very appropriate. I am not a Negro, and I do not belong to the nation for which this Anthem was written. Yet something about this song touches me, reminding me of how God brings us through many things; and that it is right for us to rejoice in Him.


Lift Ev-ry Voice and Sing
Written By: James Weldon Johnson

(The Negro National Anthem)
(1871-1938)

Lift every voice and sing
Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of hope that the present has brought us.
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on till victory is won.

Stony the road we trod,
Bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn died;
Yet with a steady beat,
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for where our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered.
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered.
Out from the gloomy past,
Till now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.

God of our weary years,

God of our silent tears,

Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way;

Thou who hast by Thy might

Led us into the light,

Keep us forever in the path, we pray.

Lest our feet stray from the places, Our God, where we meet thee;

Lest our hearts drunk with the vine of the world we forget thee,

Shadowed beneath Thy hand,

May we forever stand,

True to our God,

True to our native land.

Homemade Ice Cream...and Beautiful Fellowship

It's weird... I had never really considered Memorial Day a holiday until I got a job. When you are working 5-6 days a week, a holiday can be a beautiful thing... In my case, I got the day off from work.

It was wonderful. Yesterday Grant and I went out to lunch at Applebee's, looked around at Old Navy for a little while, and then went our separate ways... After getting home, I planned to watch "The Invisible Man" dvd with Holly and Nate... but I dozed off instead... sleeping for a few glorious hours! Then at about 6:30pm Grant picked me up again and we went to Grace's house to pick her up. Then we went to Molly's house, where we met up with Molly, Jon, Nick, and Barry. Then it was off to Susie's house for dinner and homemade ice cream. At Susie's house not only did I get to spend time with the gang I was already with, but I also got to see Steven, Curtis, Nick B., Susie; (of course), and Mandy! It was a blessing. After dinner and homemade ice cream, Grant, Barry, Jon, Molly, and I went for a walk after dark. We ended up in a playground. It was a lot of fun. After playing on the playground equipment for a while, we all sat down together and ended up having a long conversation, which ended in prayer. It was special.

Ok friends! Leave me lots of comments. I want to hear what you did for Memorial Day.

Snake Suspense

Yesterday Nate came running to me yelling; " There's a snake outside! Emily, there is a snake outside!"

Needless to say, I freaked out. " Where is it? What does it look like?" I asked him as I headed towards the back door.

" He's red, and he has diamonds on his back! His head is kind of flat and wide! I think he's a Cobra!" Nate yelled hysterically.

I chuckled when he wasn't looking and then I explained to him that Cobra's don't live in the midwest naturally. I am not sure if I convinced him though. " I think he's a poisonous snake, Emily!" Nate said.

I went outside, and Nate made sure to accessorize me with a digital camera, my cell phone, and a flashlight. Despite all of his caution he went out there with me without any shoes or socks, and seemed ready to climb under the back porch himself to pull wood away and show me the snake.
"Did anything else stand out to you about this snake?" I asked him.

" He was long and skinny." Nate told me. " He has a weird bump on the end of his tail. He had long fangs!" Then he illustrated with his fingers, two inch long fangs.

'Oh great.' I thought. 'For once, I hope he is exaggerating!' With Nate's description about the snake's tail, and the talk about diamond designs on the back, it sounded an awful lot like we were talking about a Rattlesnake.

We didn't end up finding the snake again, which is too bad, because I thought it would be cool to have the rest of the family come home and I would have this impressive story about me killing the snake. Yes if that had happened, it would have shocked a lot of people. And I would have LOVED it.

Instead though, Nate and I came inside the house, and we did a search on Google for snake pictures. I was hoping that maybe he might be able to identify, from memory, what the snake looked like. He looked at the list of pictures, then pointed to one. "That might be it!" He said. " Yes I am sure that it is probably the same kind of snake I saw!"

" Uhhh...No honey, that snake is from Africa..." I told him.

"Oh." He said.

Birth Announcement

It's a Girl!

Lucy Virginia

My Niece was born Friday, May 5th, to my sister Rachel and her husband Tim. Congratulations Rachel and Tim!

"Flight 93" films

I admit. I was one of those people who said that it was too soon for a movie to be created about the September 11th Terrorist Attacks. For many, it probably is. But late Saturday night, as I sat in front of the television set, I came across the "Flight 93" movie playing on A&E. Out of curiousity I thought I would watch "just a little", but ended up viewing almost the whole film. Although I can't tell if it was "too soon" or not, I can say that I was touched. I tuned in right about the moment when the terrorists were tying red cloths onto their heads, and I kept watching right until after the plane crashed. The only reason I stopped watching then was because it was nearly 2 in the morning and I was exhausted. What I did see of the film was very unique and very intense... yet very special.

These were real people who gave their lives for us. The film was very good at portraying the desperation of the situation that everyone was caught up in. Nobody was portrayed like Superheroes, ( as is typical for a movie with so much action) everyone was shown just simply trying to survive. And in turn, these people became heroes.

My favorite part of the film was the way they depicted Todd Beamer's dependance upon God. Though I am certain there must have been others involved in that flight who were also dependant upon the Lord. When Todd asked to pray the Lord's Prayer with Lisa Jefferson on the phone, it was neat to see how people in the background immediately grew awkward and then humbled.

If you think you are ready for A&E's "Flight 93" movie, please view it.

Waiting on the Lord

Last night at work a friend gave me an extra fortune cookie he had from his dinner. I opened it up ( because fortune cookies are fun) and here is what the little note said:

"Unexpected romantic and financial gifts surprise and delight you!"

When I saw that I had to laugh a little. Do I expect those things? Well, I am certainly not counting on them. Do I want those things? Yes, in God's timing if He allows it. I look back and reflect on the last few weeks and all of the different things I have been thinking and praying about. It's normal for a girl in my position to hope for both romance and finance someday. But what good is it for me to worry about if I will ever have those things? None. Now all I can say is this: My future is in God's hands, and there is no better place it could be. I am waiting on the Lord.

On the back of the paper it also taught me how to say " Banana" in Chinese:
Xiang-jiao

Though I don't see that as quite as significant, maybe it will be someday.

Please leave comments, prayer requests, anything. God bless.
-Emily

"Better to Live" music video

Production begins soon for my "Better to Live" music video. The song is based upon Proverbs 21:9. Here is an example of what the beginning of the film might look like. Let me know what you think.

Invisible Children

Recently I watched the "Invisible Children" documentary and was brought to tears. In Africa, thousands of children are abducted into a war that they don't want to fight. Little boys who should be in Kindergarten right now are being drafted into an army and forced to kill others. It is a cycle that has been going on for years. The children live as soldiers because they are told that if they don't they will be killed. Then the children grow up to become the very soldiers that they hated and feared, and they in turn abduct more children. The situation is devastating.

In case you haven't seen the movie, please visit the Invisible Children website and find out what you can do to help. Pray for global awareness about this matter and pray for God's deliverance for these little children. Please pray that, if need be, governments from other countries will reach out to help stop this viscious battle.

Oklahoma! Here we come...

Birthday Party

Saturday night, April 8th, I threw my Birthday Party. The decorating theme was Curious George. I was surprised when over 20 of my friends came! It was a wonderful time. Here are some of the pictures:

"Male Models!"

Molly, Matt, and Lisa.

Matt and Steven again.

Thank you everyone who came to my party. I love you guys!

Last Friday night... my Birthday

Friday was my Birthday, so Janna, Gina, and Grant took me out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Thanks guys!

Grant and Jana.

Gina and I.